Documenting the Grey Man

Trailer—Documenting the Grey Man

source: Documenting the Grey Man

In the opening of this film, shot on location in Burger King, some amateur film makers decide to investigate a house which the owners think is haunted. The plan is to con the home owners with some stunts, prove how gullible people are and then reveal to them that it's all been a joke at their expense. What could possibly go wrong? From these opening scenes it's clear that none of these guys can act at all. They aren't even natural enough in front of the camera to pass as extras. When they turn up they find the kid (who is the only one who can act) actually levitating and not only that, catch it on camera. Bingo! Except this doesn't change their plan one bit. Nor does a girl getting dragged out of a room by a ghost in grand comic style or people getting badly scratched. That's how well written this film is. It's supposed to be a found footage film but seems to forget that at times and makes no use of it at all other than an excuse for looking bad. I have to mention the girl who is supposed to be 'hot' because the film can't stop trying to direct your attention to her. Beauty is of course in the eye of the beholder but I think nine out of ten beholders would probably agree she has a freakishly long neck. They couldn't even get the tit shot right, presenting it in wobbly sideboobvision. Not that you'll care. If Nicole Neal came cartwheeling topless into the movie it still wouldn't repay the viewer for what they'd already sat through. At least she is trying to act, unlike the chortling psychic eunuch character who is supposedly a classically trained actor. The close up scenes of his face when he's in the van go on long enough to scorch his wobbly face onto the viewers retinas for an unwelcome length of of time afterwards. What I found absolutely hilarious though is the very end credits which begin trying to convince you that what you just saw was 100% authentic footage. As if anyone would actually be sat there wondering if it was real or not. So funny. It almost made this home video worth watching.

Even on basis of plot (or lack thereof) this film already fails miserably. They spend a lot of time talking about how it warns people about storms, and then nothing comes of that. The caretaker apparently disappears out of nowhere but nothing comes of that, literally nothing. Basically the premise is "so-called creepy things happen for absolutely no reason." Except there's no suspense to speak of and it's not scary at all. Most of the characters are unlikable, maybe they were written that way so we would hate them and want them to die? None of the effects are convincing either. The last shot in the film where the guy's eyes have gone grey, the color contacts the actor is wearing are hilariously crooked. Basically it boils down that the people who made this shoddy excuse for a film were like, "Hey I just watched all the Paranormal Activity films, let's take everything from those and make our own terrible, dissatisfying film that has no real conclusion!"

This movie deals with an overly obscure ghost story about the Grey Man. The Grey Man whispers in peoples ears when a storm is coming...basically, the legend is that he warns people about storms. Yeah. That alone should tell you how awful this movie is. The main premise is that this group of people end up hearing about a house that is supposedly haunted by this Grey Man. They decide they're going to become "ghost" hunters, but in a duality sense....their real objective is to show what a load of crock all those ghost hunter shows really are, by faking a lot of things happening in this house and filming all of it. It's a good premise for the first five minutes. And then you hear about the Grey Man legend, and it just goes downhill from there. With a very short running time of an hour and 4 minutes, this movie takes over 75% of it's time to get to anything "scary" happening. The first 40 minutes deal with interviews, talking with the family, explaining the legends, talking about what they're planning (usually in overly vague and generalizing terms, such as the camera guy saying "I'm setting up all these cameras everywhere, to capture everything!") At almost exactly 41 minutes and 10 seconds in this movie, is when something finally does happen. The scene that is depicted on the movie poster, with the girl floating above her bed....except that it looks nothing like on the poster of course. After this, it's a blatant rip off of Paranormal Activity, with one of the ladies screaming, the main guy runs in with a camera just as she's being pulled through a door by something. He saves her. There's nothing there. She wants to get out. He says they're going to stay, finish, just get some rest. After being dragged through a door by something or someone, yes, get some rest! And then it just cuts to the next day. There's a séance after this, where the "psychic" of the group brings in an Ouija board, they establish that something is there with this, and then said psychic begins to cry "blood" from his eyes (its very poorly done) then goes into a bathroom and vanishes. One of the ladies goes looking for him, she ends up in the little girls room, the door slams shut on her, she sits on the bed filming herself, the little girl shows up behind her looking a bit evil. She then quickly leaves the room, the woman gets pulled under the bed. Little girl goes downstairs, the main door opens for her all by itself, she walks out. The mother gets her stomach cut open, the father gets his head hit, and the doors slam shut. The main guy gets hit in the stomach, falls on the floor, and his eyes turn grey. All of this is done in the most laughable, badly shot and over acted way possible. So for 40 minutes of build up, you get roughly 3 minutes of "scary" stuff. This is one of those movies where they did a better job on the artwork for the DVD. That this even got a release on DVD is amazing really. There's no real explanation in the movie either about why this is happening, the inference is that the Grey Man latched onto their daughter and "protects" her by making her hover over her bed, and then killing a bunch of people, including her family. The only real conclusion to come to from the info in the movie, is the little girl is the reincarnation of the Grey Mans dead lover, who he lost in a storm (hence why he warns people about them)

Nothing happens for 3/4 of the movie. The first 40 minutes is acted about as well as a bad *, and when the 'horror' portion finally comes, it isn't remotely scary. The cinematography is just as bad as the acting- full of shakes, overly long close ups, and awkwardly done body shots. The scene depicted on the cover looks better on the box than it does in the film by far, so don't let that fool you into believing there's at least one good scene, either. I don't think this one has a single redeeming quality. Avoid this film!

Documenting The Grey Man is one of the worst examples of the found footage genre. The film just isn't convincing enough, and it has obviously adopted the whole found footage form in order to make a cheap film, rather than have it serve the story. The quality is obvious from the start, these characters are supposed to be a documentary film crew and yet they are incompetent at framing shots even if it's just an interview scene. The actors try to hard, which is the worst thing you could do in such a film. Getting characters to try and emote anger and sadness when they can barely say "I'm so scared" convincingly is never a good idea. It's a shame because it sounds interesting at first. This group are investigating a ghost that simply predicts hurricanes. However, by the end of the film it has abandoned this line of investigation for typical scenes of séances and the like. I have no idea what this ghost is doing or why because it flies in the face of the mythology the film has supposedly set-up. The film drags on for 40 minutes before anything happens, and even then it makes no sense. Absolutely no sense at all! One character is grabbed by an unseen force and is dragged across a room. She even has scratches on her arm, yet she still accuses the lead guy of faking everything at the end. What? She was a victim of an obvious paranormal occurrence. The end has everybody attacked by spirits just off screen and leave no wonder as to how they did it. One character is dragged under the bed, but her hand is still in shot for a few seconds before it cuts away. It's shoddy, not scary, and just a waste of time.

OK. A decent idea and starts of with quite a good back story. But then... well actually nothing much. The actual programs this is supposed to be parodying are scarier with more tension. A big disappointment and simply a waste of what could have been quite a decent film. The acting is extremely fake, even for characters that are attempting to pretend they are something else, and the whole thing is shot in 3 rooms... Yawn... Do yourself a favour and do not bother. I think every other film on the market of this genre is scarier... Actually walking with a night vision camera around my own house would be scarier. Maybe I should try that and make a movie. Would be better than this rubbish... Avoid!