Dark Ride

source: Dark Ride

Absolutely wretched. Horrid acting, terrible story, unforgivable lighting, and not one of the victims was remotely likable. The villain was absent and undeveloped for so much of the movie one could not even even cheer for *him*! The (so-called) story is about a bunch of (frighteningly aged) teenagers, who head out for a Spring Break vacation. They head out in an awesome van, run into a crazy old eccentric, and even pick up a crazy hitchhiker, before deciding to stay the night in a legendary 'Dark Ride', which is now being re-opened despite the fact that some nutjob murdered sixteen people there not even twenty years ago. Said nutjob escaped the loony-bin (complete with flickering lights and sadistic, stupid nurses)that very night! Unless you are as vapid, shallow, and stereotyped as the cast, you'll lack the ability to emphasize with any of them, instead praying for supposedly teen-aged souls to be snuffed out in horrible ways. Whomever conceived this abortion lacked the ability to create suspense, though, and instead you are simply bored to tears waiting for some sort of blood, mayhem, and pain. Please, hurt these people. Please. I can't. "Each year, movies are produced which are never seen by the public..." Proclaims the Horrorfest ads. Yeah. For a reason. This cliché-ridden mess should never have received wide theatrical release, and instead lingered in the forgotten bargain bin of Wal-Mart.

Many people might be under the concept that to make a good horror film there has to be lots of killing, lots of gore and torture. This is not true and a perfect example is Dark Ride. Dark Ride has the gore, the violence and killings, but this does not make it a good horror film. It seems that they tried to give it a campy look "a la Texas Chainsaw" putting a group of young kids driving in an old Van, then picking up a hitchhiker... only to be slaughtered as the movie goes into its "dark ride". The plot lacks originality, the acting is the worst I have seen, the characters have no personality or screen presence whatsoever. There is no connection between the characters and the audience. The dialogue is pathetic and in occasions falls in the ridicule. I was truly disappointed about this movie as it only tries to copy other horror gems and lacks all the elements to make it a worthy or viewable film. -Macabro

Dark Ride features a gruesome opening sequence, a young woman being decapitated whilst delivering a *, and an outstanding vertical head slice—moments of gore which would automatically earn a movie a recommendation from me. Unfortunately, the film as a whole is so stale that it ends up as just one more reason for me to be wary of Lionsgate releases. A blatant rip-off of Tobe Hooper's The Funhouse (1981), Dark Ride sees a bunch of obnoxious teenagers (hot women, some studs, and a guy who looks like an unhealthy, ginger Elijah Wood) being murdered by a hulking psycho after opting to spend the night in an abandoned fairground ride. Whilst The Funhouse wasn't exactly the greatest example of the slasher genre, it could at least boast a modicum of originality and a style of its own; writer/director Craig Singer, on the other hand, clearly has very few fresh ideas, and is content to plagiarise both the look and feel of Hoopers' film. Less savvy horror fans unaware of the film's obvious cribbing might get a kick out of Dark Ride, but for those in the know, my advice is to save yourself some time and money and just enjoy the best bits on YouTube.

The only reason I gave this movie a 2 is that there is some "pun"ny dialog. The most horrific part of this movie was the fact that I paid $10 to see it! I guess that since the Sopranos is finished Jamie-Lynn DiScala is hard up for jobs - that's the only reason I can see her accepting this script. This should have been a straight to DVD movie and even then should be put on the 2 for $5 rack. I did like the fact that the movie plays homage to classic movies. There is a part in the soundtrack that sounds like Friday the 13th, the "monster" stands like Michael Myers in some spots, and there is a part where he scrapes a sickle against a wall like Freddy Kruger. Other than that, the movie can be shown during prime time with limited "bleeping". Pass on it...

I think this is one of the best horror films I have seen in years! I went to a packed theater in NYC and can't remember the last time the audience was so into a film. My boyfriend begged me to go as he's really into the genre but soon I was won over. I liked Dark Ride as much as he did- it was super scary and a whole lot of fun. I wish they made more films like this one. The story is about a group of kids who break into an abandoned Dark Ride on a dare. They run into the coolest monster to hit the screen since Jason, names 'Jonah' - the film takes the time to develop good characters and the director Craig Singer does a fantastic job balancing the gore with the laughs and scares. Most films have these interchangeable characters but that's NOT the case with this film. Unlike films that put characters in situations just to kill them off - Dark Ride actually has scenes in it IMAGINE a horror film with interesting dialog! The acting was really good and it had this one scene that was totally off the hook! Big thumbs up.

When going to a horror film festival touting films too "terrifying" for general release, I expect a little of what was promised. Dark Ride starts promising in it's exposition, then completely falls apart once the plot begins. The motivations of the story are in no way believable. The audience kept laughing at the completely unbelievable choices the characters make. They introduce a character gimmick that seems interesting, then do nothing with it. Nobody acts like these people. The camera doesn't seem to know what it wants to look at. Jamie-Lynn Sigler does a horrible job carrying the film. If you have seen the 80's horror throwaway, FUNHOUSE, then you've already seen this film... and FUNHOUSE is better (as unlikely as it sounds).

I thought this movie was extremely well made, the movie was scary as hell and at the scary parts the entire theater screamed!!! Not only was it really scary it had me laughing too. I loved Jonah, he was awesome in this movie!! I thought Jim was really funny and he was cast really well in this movie. The opening credits were also done really well, i liked how it clipped to news clippings of the killing. I loved when in one scene Jonah was far away and then the lights went off and then they came back on and Jonah was RIGHT there!! (everyone screamed at that part). Out of all the movies for horror fest this was the only movie i was excited to see! This movie was awesome and i cant wait till it comes out i want to buy it!!!

In 1989, in New Jersey, two sisters are killed in a ghost train in the greatest attraction of the Asbury Park, the Dark Ride. The police arrest the serial killer that is sentenced to life in a mental institution; finds fourteen other bodies hidden in the spot and the justice shuts-down the attraction. Fourteen years later, a group of five friends and a hitchhiker decides to visit the amusement park that is offering free lodging in its reopening. Meanwhile, the psychopath escapes from the asylum and while the group is inside the Dark Ride, they are chased and killed by the murderer. The slasher "Dark Ride" is a boring collection of clichés. Whatever the viewer may expect in a B-movie of the genre, he or she will find in this flick: bad acting, poor screenplay and budget, breasts, screams, the victims splitting from the group and killed one by one, "unexpected" twist etc. In the end, watching this flick is a pure waste of time. My vote is three. Title (Brazil): "Trem Fantasma" ("Ghost Train")

Aside from being a total rip-off of the Halloween series (escaped mental patient returns home; a sibling is attached in the plot line; the killer wears a mask and coveralls, doesn't talk, appears and disappears, gets purposely rammed by a car, etc), the original Texas Chainsaw Massacre (the whole crazy hitchhiker part; the main character escapes by jumping out a window), House of 1,000 Corpses (the neon lighting and the whole "horror ride" setting, the hitchhiker looking like Baby and wearing a cowboy hat and having an annoying laugh), the movie itself was cliché to hell! I was able to say lines before the characters because it was so obvious where the story was going (i.e. "they were my cousins"). I was also able to say, "insert tedious cheap scare... now" and it would always happen. The script was awful! The characters were saying the cheapest one-liners and moronic high-school dialogue that I had to wonder how it got greenlighted. Someone else wrote that it reminded them of an episode of Are You Afraid of the Dark - and it really did! The reason why for me was because it seemed like little more than a cheap Canadian kids sit-com slightly vamped up with some gore and a few breast shots. Did it seem a little strange to anyone that the whole ride was connected to a few wires? I mean, flip one switch and you have endless fog, strobe lights, music, etc? The ending was obvious too. Did the same people make this that made that Gawd-awful Canadian TV version of Carrie? I'm disappointed Christopher Young's name and music were attached to this. Looks like that girl from the Sopranos and the kid from The Sandlot have nothing to look forward to in the way of acting careers, although it wouldn't surprise me if there was a sequel, what with the way it was all set up. Hey Lion's Gate, I want my money back, and how about paying royalties to John Carpenter, Tobe Hooper and Rob Zombie while you're at it?