*Possible Spoilers Ahead!*
If you're looking for a real "ding-dong" demented, teen, lesbian love-story movie (with a truly laughable murder, thrown in for good measure), then Heavenly Creatures (HC) is your one-way ticket to the 5th dimension of sheer, grate-on-your-nerves wackiness.
I really don't know where to begin expressing my total disappointment over this utterly preposterous, unbelievably irksome and decidedly over-rated Chick Flick from 1994.
But, I'll tell you one thing for certain, I found that I could not relate, in any way, shape, or form, with what went on between these 2 flaky teens, even if I tried.
And, what's even worse, the life-sized, clay figures that inevitably dominated Pauline & Juliet's freaked-out fantasy-world looked so absolutely dumb that I found I couldn't take this sort of nuttiness in the least bit serious. And I couldn't imagine anyone who could.
Had I been able to take something of a genuine liking towards the Parker/Hulme characters, then, yes, that would have made a whole world of difference when it came to my appreciation (or lack of) for HC.
But, between poor-girl Parker's dead-serious impersonation of "Droopy" and rich-girl Hulme's flighty take on "Olive Oyl", I found these 2 (who were forever hand-in-hand and (unconvincingly) gushing over each other) to be about as irritating a pair of lovers (be they gay or straight) that I've had to endure in any movie in a mighty long time.
As well - Neither actress Melanie Lynskey nor Kate Winslet even came close in their character portrayals to convincing me that they were both supposed to be the age of 14 years.
Anyways - When it finally came down to Pauline & Juliet actually getting around to committing their nasty, little murder (which, of course, was a helluva lot more bloody than it was believable), I had grown so frickin' sick & tired of HC's non-stop nonsense that I couldn't have cared less about it, one way, or the other.
(Ho-Hum!)
P.S.
The one scene in HC that really killed me was when Juliet came barging into her parents' bedroom only to encounter her mom being shagged (rather listlessly) by a close, family friend.
With this moment, obviously, being very tense and uncomfortable, all that Juliet could think of was to verbally threaten her mother with blackmail and demand that she pay her 100 pounds to keep silent and not tell dear, old dad about it.
Yeah. I know that this scene doesn't sound like much, but, hey, just like the rest of this film, it was handled very insensitively and, in return, it came across as being totally laughable instead of as it was intended - Dead serious.