This movie is something, alright. It takes the most worn-out, done-to-death, predictable, stale, unimaginative elements from the many other tedious indie dramas that I've suffered through, reheats them, and tries to serve them as fresh. No dice, kiddo. Only this isn't just a case of mouldy leftovers. No, this is pure, unadulterated, 100% ****. Guaranteed to grow your garden, or your money back. You'd have to go a long way to find something as soulless, brainless, meritless and charmless as this. And by the end, I couldn't care less.
The first thing you should know is, in a SHOCKING twist, the 'very nice' girls in the title are actually pretty badly behaved. In fact, the first thing we see them do is have a skinny dip. On a crowded beach. Gee, I hope those body doubles got paid well. On their bikes during the journey home, one of them collides into a hunky ice cream man. A neon sign flashes: LOVE INTEREST above his head. He is very rude to one of them. Within a few days, they'll be having sex. Despite what the director would like us to believe, with the addition of syrupy softly-sung ballads in the background whenever the duo get within a few feet of each other, there's more chemistry in gym class than there is between these two non-entities.
I almost instantly plugged that her new beau was a STRUGGLING ARTIST, who only sold his diary treats to finance his TRUE CALLING. Ya know what? I was RIGHT ON THE NOSE!! You, see... He takes pictures of people, photocopies them into huge portraits, then sticks them on walls, the backs of buses, etc. This of course, is complete rubbish... without any artistic vision, or otherwise... But you have to remember this film is based in a parallel universe, where all bounds of normal human reaction and values are completely at odds with reality. So, needless to say, his new girl finds it 'CUTE', and he's a 'GENIUS'. Say no more.
Speaking of her, at one point she starts strumming a guitar. And I was on the edge of my seat... Waiting for those three magic words... "OPEN MIKE NIGHT". ZING!! I did it again!! Perhaps I should pick up a crystal ball, and start calling myself Madame Zorro. She also has confidence issues, and I suppose you would... Performing in front of ten people. But don't worry... her new flame gives her the strength she needs to brave the throngs. Her voice is very ordinary... But like I said, these events transpire in an alternate dimension, so we're listening to the new Madonna. SIGN HER UP!!
Richard Dreyfuss and Demi Moore drop by for an easy pay cheque... There's some kind of love rivalry going on between the two bimbos for the heart of Mr Interesting... and a bit of fractious family feuding thrown in to pad out the length. But all of this twaddle can be summed up by simply saying 'Dead Air'. It's not worth the time it takes to watch. It wasn't worth the time to type this review. In fact, it's barely worth the time it takes to put the disc in the machine.
In other words: Do something better with your life. Like, anything. 2/10