Metalstorm

source: Metalstorm

Trailer—Metalstorm: The Destruction of Jared-Syn

Metalstorm: The Destruction of Jared-Syn

This movie was just bad. I only saw it once though so I don't remember a lot of it...I just remember it being quite boring. I think I saw this one on TNT's old Monster vision show and Joe Bob didn't give it very high marks either. Very bad special effects and a bad plot as well. Though it does have Richard Moll in it. What really gets me is the second half of the title of this one. Let's just say it is ironic that it is called the destruction of Jared-Syn. The finale is really bad and I wasn't even sure what happened as they were flying through the cheap special effects.

Potential Spoilers: From the incomprehensible beginning message Dogen receives to the one-expression stare-tastic performance by Byron, this movie is unmatched. Throw in a bit of Richard Moll (see "Dungeonmaster") and you have a recipe for unparalleled B-movie ecstasy. The premise that Jared-Syn will be destroyed (as evidenced by the title of the film) is never realized. Byron (as Dogen) puts up an interesting ante for facially still, gaze-oriented actors, and manages to make it fun to watch. The plot is sometimes convoluted, and contrived, but isn't that what makes this kind of movie entertaining? This is one of Band's more valiant efforts. It uses effects, sure; it uses typical Road Warrior-esque poorly rendered vehicle fight montages, yes; but it also captures something timeless in its utter embracing of what it is. Nothing is resolved. Jared-Syn still lives. Dogen stares. Band is king.

Don't know why, but in the '80s, I watched this film around 17 times, and when in Hollywood, went to the Band brothers' office to tell them they had made a cult masterpiece. They seemed really surprised that anyone liked it. After watching it several times (which you feel compelled to do for some strange reason), you start to get sucked into believing that somehow the film contains some kind of secret. The problem is that I think I needed to watch it at least 17 more times to 'get' the secret, but I could no longer find the film anywhere. Now I'm an adult, with kids, and they have carefully explained to me that I know nothing about films or hidden realities. So, either I'm an idiot for having wasted so much time watching Metal Storm so many times, or my kids should be forced to watch it 17 times so that they can reach the same level of knowledge as their mother.

I saw this movie back in 83 when 3-d was making a comeback. I liked it a lot but I was young and it was 3-d. I've seen it a few times after that on HBO and still enjoyed it. I just recently got a 3-d dvd of the movie and I enjoyed it even more. Sure, it's crap but it's fun crap and I'm a sucker for 3-d movies. Watching this in 3-d in my own living room brought back memories. It's definately worth seeing in 3-d.