Battle for Saipan

I was not able to bear more than 15 minutes of this. I could already tell this was revisionist history, with little regard for the truth. I am just glad I didn't have to pay for this. I have walked out on many movies that I found to be insulting, disrespectful, inaccurate, or just propaganda. I would have walked out on this one too. I do give credit to the actors for trying to make it through a bad script, you will see what I mean within the first 15 minutes. The men that fought in WW2 deserve to have their sacrifice and accomplishments presented in at least some degree of accuracy. This is a script that sould not have made it into production.

No pun intended - this being historical - well I can't say if they are accurate or how much of it is. What I can say is that it does try its best to do it justice - at least that is what I got from it. Having said that, the budget restrictions are quite ... visible! Not just in the effects department, but also when it comes to sets and choreography (people running into gunfire, convenient hand to hand combat when one of our main characters runs out of bullets and so forth) ... if you are really mean, you might add actors to that. I on the other hand am not mean (well not today) and think everyone involved does their best to portray and play as good as possible. I assume the script could have used a bit more work - even if this is supposed to be "true" (again heightened and loaded with suspense for sure) ... seen worse, but that does not make this a must see either ...

I figured that this wasn't going to be a particularly great war movie, but I still opted to sit down and watch what writer and director Brandon Slagle had to offer. And let's just say that if you opt to skip on "Battle for Saipan" on account of the premise of the synopsis and/or the cast ensemble, then you're not missing out on anything great here. Yeah, "Battle for Saipan" wasn't exactly in the same league with something like "Saving Private Ryan". In fact, the storyline told in "Battle for Saipan" was pretty simplistic, almost to the point of being amateurish. So this wasn't exactly a golden moment in war cinema. Sure, it was watchable, but this was hardly a movie that warrants more than a single viewing. And that single viewing is somewhat of an ordeal to sit through in itself. The movie starts out by stating that the battle that took place at Saipan was referred to as the D-Day of the Pacific. Well, strap yourself in firmly, because the movies utterly fails at depicting this in any sense, be it visually, action-wise, sheer number of soldiers present, well, you name it. Yeah, director Brandon Slagle delivered a movie that felt like it was recorded at an old abandoned building at some rundown farmstead. It didn't feel or look like anything from World War II. What did work for "Battle for Saipan" was the costumes and the weapons though, as they looked authentic enough. And yeah, that definitely helped to keep the movie afloat. I have to say that the likes of Casper Van Dien, Louis Mandylor and Jeff Fahey usually make adequate enough movies, but they had nothing to work with in "Battle for Saipan", and it was clearly showing on the screen. If you enjoy World War II movies, then you might get a bit of a kick out of whatever transpires on the screen in "Battle for Saipan", but don't get your hopes up. My rating of "Battle for Saipan" lands on a very generous four out of ten stars.

Every male actor a hunk, every female actor a model. Then we get to the story; 'based on real events'. Yeah, very loosely. Casting should have been fired way before a camera was hired. It just has that 80's made for TV feel, yup, worse than The A-Team, that bad. The dialogue is awful, the acting far too intense in the minor moments. Sometimes less is more, guys. Of course the Japanese just throw themselves at machine guns like they were never trained in the basics. Of course the GI's are so proficient at unarmed combat. The Japanese would never have any idea about Karate or Jiu Jitsu. How could they despite inventing it? Really not good in any way. Have the production team bigged this up on review sites? Mmmm?

At least I didn't hear a kookaburra... Dreadful plot. Historically inaccurate. Geographically inaccurate. Biologically inaccurate. Guns with endless ammunition. Soldiers that bunch up together and still don't die. Soldiers that don't take cover and still don't die. Japanese soldiers that can't throw grenades around corners. Japanese soldiers that roam and attack in single file. Subtitles required for non US English speakers. 'Merica! Three stars for knife action and manly grunting. This movie is best skipped. It strains to evoke much at all in the viewer. It solipsistic in that you have no idea where the rest of the US military is located.

The acting is not good at all, the screenplay is not good at all, and it is very, very loosely based on any real WW2 events. Basically using the name Saipan, and actors who look Japanese, is about as close to 'historically accurate' as it gets. I kept waiting for the dead people to start walking around, like some low-budget zombie movie or something. I have somehow made it to the 45 minute mark, because I'm scrolling on fb and dropped the remote. If you are in the middle of some home repairs and need a little break from watching paint dry, this is your movie! Otherwise, do not waste your time.

Every male actor a hunk, every female actor a model. Then we get to the story; 'based on real events'. Yeah, very loosely. Casting should have been fired way before a camera was hired. It just has that 80's made for TV feel, yup, worse than The A-Team, that bad. The dialogue is awful, the acting far too intense in the minor moments. Sometimes less is more, guys. Of course the Japanese just throw themselves at machine guns like they were never trained in the basics. Of course the GI's are so proficient at unarmed combat. The Japanese would never have any idea about Karate or Jiu Jitsu. How could they despite inventing it? Really not good in any way. Have the production team bigged this up on review sites? Mmmm?