Look, the British have given us some pretty good things, like golf, tennis, Monty Python, Blackadder, and the like, but Hammer is not one of them. There are some people who simply should not try to make movies, and Anthony Nelson Keys and his Hammer friends definitely fall into this group.
I've now seen Plague of the Zombies, The Witches, Moon Zero Two, Rasputin, and The Reptile, and I've noticed these defining characteristics of Hammer films in each:
1. A flimsy, vaguely defined plot
2. All the tension removed and replaced with long, drawn out, pointless scenes and convoluted subplots
3. A baffling, confusing denouement, usually supposed to convey irony, but leaving the audience's heads spinning
4. Then, before the closing action is completed and before the plot has had a chance to resolve itself, the end credits elbow their way in.
Plague, however, is one of the most sustained examples of this. (1) The "plot" wanders around from Hamilton's sexual witchcraft fantasies to Alice becoming a zombie to Forbes doing research on rituals in "Heidi." (yeah, I know what he said, but it came out weird.) (2) The tension is removed by revealing almost immediately that Hamilton is the zombie priest, and then replaced by the interminable scenes of Forbes sneaking around the house, Martinus being grilled by the cops and both Sylvia and Alice being lured to the mine. (3) Do they ever explain in the film exactly how the zombies would be affected by burning the dolls? And why wouldn't Hamilton just run back to the secret passage to his house? I'd also like to ask why he needed ZOMBIES to work that mine. They did say that he was loose with his money, but nobody ever said he was running out. (4) Then, just as the tension in the final scene comes to a head, the film ends, just as befuddlingly and cryptically (no pun intended) as it began.
Not to mention, THERE'S NO PLAGUE OF ZOMBIES!
England should just go back to the things they're good at, like guillotining random people and producing drug-induced literary works. Horror is not for them.
3/10