!*!*!**! WARNING SPOILERS !*!*!*!**!
Dear Godzilla
YOU are the star of these films. Everybody in most of the developed world knows you, and many of us love you. For this reason I am humbly requesting that you stand up for yourself and demand better treatment in the films you make for Toho Productions. Demand editorial privileges for the script - nay - just demand that the script be written before the film is nearly complete! Even a big green bipedal reptile with a rudimentary language could write better stuff than what I saw in this film. The actors plodded through the scenes with a stunning lack of emotion and a level of energy which could only have been equaled by the snoring audiences (two of the females being the only exceptions). Oops - I forgot, we were also told by a 15 or so year old expert on Godzilla that you are not, in fact, a big green bipedal lizard, but, in fact, a fission reactor which somehow reaches critical mass when exposed to "small oxygen" (whatever that is). Thankfully, however, a great big crab/demon/scorpion/lobster/cockroach/trilobyte thing shows up, which turns out (of course) not to be a great big crab/demon/scorpion/lobster/cockroach/trilobyte thing but rather to be an "oxygen destroyer". The Cockroach/Oxygen Destroyer is therefore, capable of canceling out your meltdown, at least to the extent that you did not have to star in a sequel to The China Syndrome. Oops - I guess that should be the Los Angeles Syndrome, considering the location of your meltdown.
Demand that the director decide which plot, or should I say, which movie, is going to be followed up on before the last half hour. And make him stick to it!
Demand that your truly sad and disturbing death scene, not to mention that of your offspring, place you in a permanently dead state and that the plot leading to it provide not only a non-ludicrous reason for your death - even if it means the salvation of all of the actors who were willing to sacrifice their careers for a role in one of your films - but also a meaningful context in which that death can occur. The next time you are asked to die in a film, please make sure that the production company has a ready explanation for your appearance in several additional films a year or so later. Your fans would prefer that you die when you're ready to retire, not when Toho needs a little extra money and an advertising gimmick. Godzilla, you are a truly uniquely talented person, and nobody will ever be able to equal you within your genre. For that matter, do the death scene right in (or better yet - ON) the studio, because you will undoubtedly take Toho along with you, and your fans might as well enjoy the destruction of the company which seems hell- bent on ruining your tradition of quality entertainment. So, next time they ask you to kark it, ask for a little extra money for your trouble, and plan on moving to southern California for your retirement.
People of your stature and physique are treated very well in the in the American film industry, so you could always come out of retirement and, with a little Bo-Tox, a few extra reps at the gym, a face-lift and an appropriate contract, I think you'd find American cinema, or even a political office, to be a perfectly acceptable venue.
Yours affectionately,
Mstomaso 10/2004 NJ, USA