I went into the theatre with great anticipation to see 21 Grams. I admire the talents of Sean Penn and Benicio Del Toro, and was anxious to see Naomi Watts. All of them gave very good performances, as did Melissa Leo. However, for me, the film as a whole, was a colossal failure and disappointment. In a nutshell, is any other film's narrative so badly fractured that you don't even care about the various dramas/melodramas played out: divorce, failed rehabilitation, the loss of a husband and two innocent children in a car accident, etc. etc...you just view everything with a detached confusion, and you're left outraged that you lost any opportunity to connect with the story and the fine acting because of the pretentious, heavy-handed direction.
(I never considered myself a great fan of Clint Eastwood, but compare this movie's narrative to that of Mystic River. In Mystic River, you care so much about the three main characters, and all of the supporting players -- the theme(s) are disturbing and compelling enough, and the director allows you to know the characters to a great extent as both the mystery and suspense build to a crescendo. In Grams, you have none of that --you are just jerked around, maybe to hide how ridiculous the story would be if presented more conventionally?)
To this point, I have seen no other film(s) by this director. He may indeed be talented, as perhaps it takes a talent to misfire so badly on a film. And, I do not mind a non-linear device if it serves the story. In Memento, this device works because the sudience is processing the mystery as the main charcter himself is. The non-linear projection also heightens the plot and irony of Pulp Fiction.
In Grams, it felt like the scenes were shot in whatever order (that's ok), and than the director numbered them, and threw them into a hat for the order they would be presented to the audience. As such, the movie lost any sense of continuity with the themes and the characters. It made for a singularly frustrating movie-going experience. A majority of critics have praised this film as both intelligent and respecting the same intelligence from the audience. I'm sorry, but is it audience participation when the questions you are compelled to ask are on the order of: "When did this happen?" "Is that the same lady?" "Did she change her mind?" "Why did she change her mind?" "When will this pretentious exercise be over?"
Speaking for myself, this movie was a terrible misfire, and the directing style robbed us of any chance to connect with the characters and the themes he was trying to present. Instead, I was angry that I could not enjoy the performances (especially Watts'), as the movie had already lost me so much earlier. By the time we get to Penn's ending narration (a la American Beauty?), I just laughed at the pretentiousness, and almost wanted to cry about all of the lost opportunities to make a decent film that you cared about.
Somehow, 21 Grams made imdb's top 250 of all time. For me, it may not have been one of the Top 250 of 2003.